As I sit at my desk reflecting, I can't help but see all of the blessings that came in 2015. Yes, the year was marked by trials and sadness, but there's no denying that the goodness of God was ever present. Here are some of the lessons I learned (much of which is a repeat of things I've posted here in the past).
- God's ways are not our ways.
The year started out with such excitement (the good kind). Jenn and I had made the decision to start the adoption process, and while the process was overwhelming and stressful at times, we were thrilled to move forward with starting a family. I never would have thought at the start of the year that God would have other plans.
All things to that point seemed to be pointing us to adoption. After years of not being able to conceive, we had a new church pastor move just a couple of miles away who had two adopted boys. We became enamored with Jenn's cousin's adopted boy. Plus, God just laid on our hearts the desire to give a family-less child a family.
Still, even when we were thinking that God was going to move us along the path of having a family, we instead were reminded that we can't understand the mind of God (Is. 40:13-14, Is. 55:8-9). Little did I know that the adoption process would be God's means for getting my cancer diagnosed. This is not the way I would have scripted 2015, but God in His perfect wisdom decided to give us a detour. Jenn and I pray that it's a temporary detour on our journey to starting a family, but we recognize that God alone is wise and in control. - Health should not be taken for granted.
I always took pride in the fact that I never seemed to get seriously sick. Sure, I'd get a cold every now and then, but I never had any serious ailments that required prescriptions or trips to the doctor. Being diagnosed with cancer was a glimpse into a world I had never seen - x-rays, biopsies, cat scans, waiting rooms, exam rooms, pharmacies ... it was all so foreign to me.
Yet, through the whole process, God was reminding me that health is a gift not to be taken for granted. And it wasn't my own condition that reminded me of this. 2015 allowed me to witness a church family's own struggle with their child's cancer. Both my grandmas had struggles with their health - one of which almost passed away and had to have a pacemaker installed. Jenn's grandpa also had an incident which left him hospital-ridden and us wondering whether he would make it. My parents had battles with health ailments.
We are finite, frail, and feeble creatures. For as much as we try to exercise, eat healthy, take vitamins and supplements, we ultimately cannot buy or maintain good health. 2015 has taught me to be grateful for the seasons of good health while also mourn and empathize with those that are struggling with various ailments. - Count your blessings.
Even in times of darkness and trials, it's important to take a step back and thank God for His blessings. For me, 2015 was a reminder of how God continues to provide for me and Jenn. My job at Google is a huge gift and wholly undeserved. I learned that we have amazing health insurance, and I've had to pay very little out of pocket through my various medications and medical procedures. I'm blessed to have access to nutritious food at work. (I also have access to a lot of junk food and desserts, but that's a different story, haha.) I have coworkers who have been incredibly encouraging and supportive during my medical leave. I'm blessed to have several Christian coworkers who encourage me with prayer and Scripture even in the work setting.
God's blessed us with a home that we love. By His grace we haven't had to do much to maintain it so far. He's given us neighbors that we're forming relationships and even friendships with.
I'm blessed with a wonderful church with wise and shepherding pastors and elders. Jenn and I could not have gotten through this year without the support of our church family. They have offered us shoulders to cry on, constant prayer, and have given us wise counsel.
Even beyond our church family, I'm blessed to have the prayers of so many friends (and friends of friends). It's so encouraging to hear from people I haven't seen for months (or even years), telling me that they're thinking and praying for me often. I'm so grateful for those people that truly realize that prayer is powerful and that God uses those prayers in a mysterious way.
I'm not sure what 2016 holds, but I'm reminded that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Just as He proved Himself to be good and faithful during this past challenging year, I can trust that He will continue to do so in the upcoming year. I'm grateful that I start 2016 with my cancer in remission, but I'm also painfully aware that this is not the end of my cancer journey. Maintenance chemo will begin in a few weeks, followed by regular tests to see when the cancer comes back.
I may not update this blog as regularly as things will hopefully be relatively uneventful for a while. Nonetheless, only God knows what's in store for me. In the meantime, I'll walk by faith and not by sight.
Happy new year, everyone!