Psalm 40

9 I have told the glad news of deliverance
    in the great congregation;
behold, I have not restrained my lips,
    as you know, O Lord.
10 I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart;
    I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation;
I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness
    from the great congregation.

11 As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain
    your mercy from me;
your steadfast love and your faithfulness will
    ever preserve me!
12 For evils have encompassed me
    beyond number;
my iniquities have overtaken me,
    and I cannot see;
they are more than the hairs of my head;
    my heart fails me.

13 Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me!
    O Lord, make haste to help me!

Psalm 40:9-13

Hi everyone, sorry for not posting for a while.  I tell myself that I just haven't had much to say (which is partly true), but in reality I just haven't been disciplined enough to sit down and write an update.

I was reflecting on the above passage for a few days.  I think Psalm 40:9-13 can be my new life verse.  God has delivered me in many ways.  While it's possible that He may not ultimately deliver me from this cancer, I have seen His steadfast love and faithfulness time and time again.

It's hard to imagine that it's been almost a year exactly from the point where I was diagnosed.  I've spent much time over the past few weeks reflecting on how my cancer journey started.  I still marvel that God would use the adoption process that Jenn and I were going through to finally cause me to see a doctor for a physical (having avoided doctors since high school) - a physical that would lead to an abnormal blood test which would eventually lead doctors to a cancer diagnosis.  

I've read stories of so many myeloma patients that had no idea they had this cancer until they broke a bone or wound up in the hospital for diseases which their weakened immune system couldn't fight off.  Yet for me, God in His goodness would allow doctors to catch the cancer while I was in good health and asymptomatic.

Thinking back on all of the treatment I've had, God delivered me from experiencing any major discomfort from the drugs.  My doctor would frequently tell me that I was his first myeloma patient not to experience any side effects from my initial therapy.  Praise God!

God not only has been sustaining me physically over the past year, but He's encouraged my soul with the love, prayers, and thoughtfulness of countless friends and family members.  

I wish I could speak with the Psalmist and say that I have never hidden God's deliverance from others.  I haven't intentionally; but there have been several times where neighbors or coworkers have asked how I'm able to handle things so well, and out of laziness or tiredness I have failed to point to the steadfast love and faithfulness of my God which preserves me.

Friends, please pray that I would not cease to speak of all the ways that God has been good to me and my family, even in the midst of cancer.  Pray that even when I'm physically tired of talking about how I'm doing that I would never grow weary in pointing everyone to the one who sustains me.

Soli deo gloria.