Backstory

I realized that I haven't told the full story of how I got diagnosed with cancer.  I should actually write it down for posterity's sake, as it's yet another testament to the grace and goodness of God.  More than that, the backstory is important because it shows that God didn't give me cancer on a whim.  No, God had ordained to give me cancer from before I was formed in the womb.  God doesn't give us more than we can handle.  Not only has He been planning for this, but He's also been preparing me for the cancer diagnosis, just as I know that He's preparing me for the tough road ahead.

Jenn and I have wanted kids for a while (I've wanted to be a father in my bachelorhood), but for whatever reason, that hasn't been part of God's plan so far.  It's been discouraging not being able to conceive, but we also knew that adoption was an avenue we could explore.  We both were interested in adoption, but we didn't really know what the process entailed.

Over time, Jenn's cousin adoption an amazing little boy from Korea (we love him so much!) and we began to give adoption a lot more thought.  We started asking more questions about the process, and we realized that it wasn't as intimidating as we thought.  Probably about six months ago, we decided to formally start the adoption process.  Around the same time, God brought a new associate pastor to our church, and he had two adopted boys of his own.  It became more and more apparent that God was leading us down the path to adoption.

For the past several months, we've been gathering all the documents we need for the process (and there are a ton).  We got fingerprinted, requested new birth and marriage certificates, and I even applied for my first passport!

One of the docs that I was not looking forward to getting is a bill of health signed by my doctor.  To me, this document was the biggest hassle.  I hadn't been to the doctor since high school, so I would first have to find a doctor.  To be honest, I had no idea how to choose a doctor.  I basically tried to find reviews of doctors (most were all highly rated), so I just tried to find one that seemed pretty young.

I went to the doctor on New Year's Eve.  The doctor's visit itself wasn't bad.  It's not that I ever feared going to the doctor; I hadn't been to the doctor since high school mainly out of laziness.  I didn't want to find a doctor, and I thought it would be a hassle to gather my old medical records to send to my new doctor (little did I realize that it's all electronic.  Yay, technology!).

As I mentioned, the checkup was very routine (though they did have me wear some strange disposable shorts.  I asked around to see if this was common, but none of my friends ever had to wear disposable shorts during a checkup.  They're not convinced I saw an actual doctor.)  Dr. Perkins said I seemed very healthy.  When I gave him the adoption form to sign, he realized I would need bloodwork done, so he sent me to labs for a blood test.

A few days later, he reached out to say the blood test came back fine and that he would sign the form.  I showed up with a notary (every adoption form has to be notarized; it's pretty painful), and he signs off.  As I'm preparing to go, he mentioned that while the bloodwork mostly looked good, he did want to run another test since my blood protein level seemed high.  No big deal, I thought.  The doctor didn't seem too worried, so I said goodbye to the notary, and I went to labs again for another blood test.

Those tests came back a few days later, and the doctor said that the blood protein levels were high again.  At this point, I'm wondering what the cause could be.  I did some Google searches and it seemed that it could be anything - from pregnancy, to an STD, to cancer, to nutrition issues ... I didn't have enough information to really know what was going on, so I didn't worry too much.

Dr. Perkins then prescribed an electrophoresis protein test to determine what type of protein was in my blood.  Eventually that test showed that I had paraproteins in my blood.  I was never good at science, but from my limited research, apparently paraproteins (in any amount) should not be in your blood.  I again Googled with this new test result and found that this most likely pointed to multiple myeloma.  The doctor confirmed this suspicion when he referred me to a hematologist/oncologist.

This is the part of the story when I began to worry.  How could I have cancer when I was feeling healthy?  On the other hand, they wouldn't refer me to an oncologist if they didn't have a concern that I had cancer, would they?  The days leading up to my appointment with the oncologist were some of the most stressful days I've ever experienced.  At this point, I was still keeping things from Jenn.  She knew that I had protein in my blood, and she knew I was seeing a blood doctor, but I didn't tell her that from my research I suspected cancer.

Yet, even in this time, God was really good.  I emailed some close Christian brothers and asked for prayer and encouragement.  I also emailed my uncle (who is a pharmacist) on what I should ask my oncologist.

The oncologist was very nice.  He asked me about my health over the past few months and checked my lymph nodes.  He said we would need to run a bunch of tests to figure out if there's an issue, but based on my health, he told me he didn't think it was myeloma and didn't think I had much to worry about.

Next came all the tests - first I had to do a whole battery of blood tests.  I also had to collect urine for 24 hours so they could measure the amount of protein in my urine.  Those tests came back and showed that I was anemic and still had protein in my blood and urine.  Next they ordered a full skeletal x-ray to see if there were any bone lesions or fractures.  They also ordered a CT scan to see if my lymph nodes in my chest and abdomen were okay.

In the middle of all of this, I was supposed to attend my buddy's bachelor party.  Here again I saw God's goodness.  I wanted to go support my friend, but I also knew I was not in a good mental state.  I didn't want to be a wet blanket and put a damper on the celebration of his upcoming marriage.  At 5pm on the Friday we were to drive down to LA, my oncologist calls me to say that both the CT scan and the X-ray came back clean.  He again mentioned that he expected whatever I had to be treatable and curable, so I was able to go to the bachelor party upbeat, optimistic, and with renewed hope.

The bachelor party was such a blessing.  In addition to celebrating my friend's upcoming wedding, I also received much prayer and encouragement from other guys with me.  I shared my fears about my diagnosis, and they helped shoulder the burden and lifted me up in prayer.

I got back from the bachelor party on Sunday night, and the next day had a bone marrow biopsy scheduled.  The bone marrow biopsy was not very fun, though the pain was actually pretty bearable.  I will spare you the details though.  Two days after the biopsy, I was at my parents' home after work when I notice a voicemail.  It was my oncologist asking me to call him on his cell phone, and that's when I received the diagnosis which would change my life.

Looking back over that journey, God's fingerprints can be seen everywhere:

• God was very clearly moving us toward the adoption process in so many ways (not being able to conceive, having a close family member have such a positive experience with adoption, have a new pastor and his family with two adopted children move ~5 minutes away from us, etc)
• I would never have gone to the doctor if not for the adoption process (since I hadn't gone to the doctor in years and I was feeling healthy)
• God provided support and encouragement from various brothers at times when I needed it.
• God gave me good news right before the bachelor party.  I was debating whether I should even go until I received the news that the CT Scan and X-rays came back clean.
• It was through the bachelor party that I received probably more encouragement than the groom.
• When I received the diagnosis, I just happened to be at my parents' house.  This was an incredible gift from God.  I was able to get support and comfort from my mom, and it was okay to just break down.  If I received the news alone, I would have been utterly despondent and would not have known what to do.  If I received the news at home, I think Jenn would have been extremely alarmed and panicked at seeing me so distressed.  Praise God that my mom immediately pointed me to Christ, and I was able to come home and tell Jenn calmly and with the hope that only comes from God.

My cancer was not an unlucky accident; God was sovereignly at work every step of the way.  At the same time, God never gives us more than we can handle.  During the various points where I felt overwhelmed beyond belief, God provided friends or bits of good news to keep me afloat and trusting Him.  The journey leading up to the diagnosis is a big reason why I can trust Him now with the diagnosis fully known.  God has shown Himself to be in control, He's shown Himself to be faithful, and He's shown Himself to be good leading up to this point; I have no reason to doubt that He'll remain the same as I continue this journey.