Sunday Thoughts

Someone asked me today if my cancer is life-threatening.  I'm sure others are wondering that too.  The direct answer to that question is - I have no idea.  Before referring me to Stanford, my oncologist said he's very optimistic that I will respond well to treatment given what he knows of my current health.  He has even said that he's seen a few people cured of this type of cancer.   (Though, he's more a general blood cancer specialist and not specifically focused on myeloma.)  Nonetheless, multiple myeloma is a very serious cancer.  We all would like to know how long we have on this earth, but I would like to remind myself - and all of you - of the following:

• We are all born dying.  Death is a certainty, but none of us can know how long we have here on this earth.
• No amount of medicine or treatment can add to the number of days God has ordained for us.  At the same time, no cancer, disease, or tragedy can shorten the number of days God has ordained for us.  It may feel unsettling not having any control over the duration of our life, but I choose to view this as a comforting thing.  There is no need to fear as nothing is outside of God's control and His sovereign will.
• What may feel like a death sentence from a human perspective is not a death sentence for the one who can raise the dead.  (2 Corinthians 1:9)
• God has told us to number our days.  We are to live in accordance with the fact that our time here is limited.  (Psalm 90:12)

I do recognize that many of you will want to read up on the disease out of love and concern for me.  Thank you.  I would just advise discernment.  Will your reading about the disease cause you more anxiety and make it harder to trust God?  Will reading about the disease cause you to place your hope in the odds and statistics instead of in Christ?  Would your time be better spent in the Word and in prayer?

For myself, I realize that I'm not qualified to understand the unorganized mess of data that is out there.  I look forward to having a doctor use God-given knowledge gained through study and experience to explain what I can expect going forward.  I'm also grateful for those dear friends that can read up on the disease without getting too excited or too worried about my 'odds'; it's a blessing having some people with a better understanding of my condition.  (I'm so grateful that some of the GBF staff have read up on the disease a bit.)  Still, my desire is that most of you just spend any time you would have spent reading up on the disease in prayer and in the Word.  It's through those things that you will really be able to minister to me.

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It was incredibly encouraging being with the saints at GBF today.  The love and concern people showed reduced me to a puddle of tears.  The elders all prayed for me as well which was humbling and encouraging.

I may have received more hugs today than I did on my wedding day.  Anyone who knows me decently well knows that I'm not the biggest fan of hugs.  Through this cancer, I think God is making me more 'okay' with hugs.  I'm learning that a hug can sometimes communicate things when words fail.  Still, if you come toward me with outstretched arms, I will still probably try to avoid you.  :)

If you're a believer that isn't plugged into a local church body, change that.  God designed us to be with other believers.  He's equipped believers with spiritual gifts that will benefit the saints.  He's commanded that we practice the one-anothers (love one another, forgive one another, confess your sins to one another, seek good for one another, etc.)  The church body will be there to rejoice with you in your joys, weep with you in your sorrows, and help bear your burdens.  If you're looking for a church to be a part of, I know of one in Sunnyvale with incredibly godly and loving saints.  Just sayin' ...