When I go to see my Bone Marrow Transplant Doctor at Stanford, I'm always asked to fill out a questionnaire beforehand. The questions range are general ones about my current health and mental state. One question always stands out though. I'm asked to rate how true the following statement is both before my diagnosis and today: My life is meaningful and full of purpose.
It's an interesting question, and I know why they need to ask it. Cancer seems to put the brakes on any sort of plans you had for your life. Prior to my diagnosis, Jenn and I were going down the road of adoption. I felt that my purpose at that time was to put all my time and energy into that process as we prepared to start a family.
After the shock of the cancer diagnosis wore off, I did go through periods of questioning what my purpose now was. Since the adoption process had to be on hold, my life did feel a bit empty. I thank God that He didn't allow me to sit in that pit of despair for too long, especially since so many people struggle with this lack of purpose, as the Stanford questionnaire would indicate.
Over the past few months, God has been reminding me of His purposes for me. There are the obvious purposes that haven't changed with the diagnosis - He desires that I be a loving husband, a productive member of my local church, and a good steward of all the good gifts and responsibilities He's entrusted me with. Furthermore, God's purpose is for me to mature and to become more like Christ (Phil 1:6). Through my journey with cancer, He is fulfilling those purposes to strengthen my faith and produce perseverance (James 1:2-4)
There are, however, purposes that God has for me that are not immediately obvious. Words that He would have me say at an opportune time, people He would have me meet, things He would have me do. I don't fully know what God's purpose for me is, but I found comfort in reading Psalm 138:8 today. God will fulfill all His purposes for me. This means that God will leave me here on earth until everything He has wanted me to do has been fulfilled.
How comforting to know that when my life on earth is done, God will have kept his promise to fulfill all of His purposes for me. How humbling it is to be used by the King of Kings for His good purposes.
It's an interesting question, and I know why they need to ask it. Cancer seems to put the brakes on any sort of plans you had for your life. Prior to my diagnosis, Jenn and I were going down the road of adoption. I felt that my purpose at that time was to put all my time and energy into that process as we prepared to start a family.
After the shock of the cancer diagnosis wore off, I did go through periods of questioning what my purpose now was. Since the adoption process had to be on hold, my life did feel a bit empty. I thank God that He didn't allow me to sit in that pit of despair for too long, especially since so many people struggle with this lack of purpose, as the Stanford questionnaire would indicate.
Over the past few months, God has been reminding me of His purposes for me. There are the obvious purposes that haven't changed with the diagnosis - He desires that I be a loving husband, a productive member of my local church, and a good steward of all the good gifts and responsibilities He's entrusted me with. Furthermore, God's purpose is for me to mature and to become more like Christ (Phil 1:6). Through my journey with cancer, He is fulfilling those purposes to strengthen my faith and produce perseverance (James 1:2-4)
There are, however, purposes that God has for me that are not immediately obvious. Words that He would have me say at an opportune time, people He would have me meet, things He would have me do. I don't fully know what God's purpose for me is, but I found comfort in reading Psalm 138:8 today. God will fulfill all His purposes for me. This means that God will leave me here on earth until everything He has wanted me to do has been fulfilled.
How comforting to know that when my life on earth is done, God will have kept his promise to fulfill all of His purposes for me. How humbling it is to be used by the King of Kings for His good purposes.
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